Chapter 4. Crocodile tears

I miss crocodile.

Women have always fell for guys like him; independent self assured and alpha. Granted, that living life with crocodile as been very consuming, but I have never been thinner in my entire life. I think life as a single women has its perks too. For example, the other night I went out with a girlfriend of mine, we had dinner a Michelin star restaurant and there were guys  that wanted to talk to us, buy us drinks and tell us how lovely we are. My single friend is simply gorgeous and unattainable, independent and stylish. For some it is hard to explain that a girl like her in her mid thirties is still single. Does she have a secret sexual preference, is she gay? How would you explain otherwise that a women so loved, so fun, so funny and independent chooses to be single rather than share her existence with a male?

I asked her the question myself the other day and she confessed. She has seen me crying over my failed story, or I should say failed stories, she has listened to my regrets about having left Prince Charming, the fact that my life was much easier next to a nice loving guy. The day I asked my friend about her choice to be a single lady she had met a really nice guy. He had been following her for days and the truth is, he was good looking, educated and the most important detail, available. After a few glasses of cava and a couple of cigarettes, she revealed her mystery. “I do not believe all the things he says to me, most men promises are just things that they say to get you to the place where they can make you their prey. Their nice moves only have one single purpose, to devour you, to make you dependent on them, to put you in a place where you think you need them more than you need yourself. Whenever they cry for you their tears are not real, they are crocodile tears.” Seldom a woman will run into a nice guy that is willing to make them happy, that is willing to enhance them as a person, while respecting their independence and all. Seldom you will be able to feel free while in a relationship. Most of the time you will be disappointed. And in those rare occasions when you do find a man of that nature, women tend to get bored and leave them for a crocodile. So what is it that women really want? Having been put in this situation I have asked myself that same question and given the amount of blogs that cover this topic and all the women that are caught in unhappy relationships, it is no secret that the question remains unanswered to this date.

Sunday is Valentines’ Day and most of us will feel disappointed. I have not said sad, I have said disappointed, half-way satisfied. Some will feel like they are trapped in unfulfilling dead-end marriages, others will wish that the men of their dreams wasn’t married, some will desire their best friends’ boyfriend or husband and some will be out on a date with someone who doesn’t quite meet the criteria but…well, asked them out on a date on Valentines’ Day. Better than staying home.

I remember Valentine’s Day in Chicago. It was quite hideous to see all these recent graduates and junior professionals taking girls out to cheap Italian restaurants. As I walked by pushing my first son’s stroller I thought “thank God I don’t have to be them” Well, now I am not them, I am worse. I have no date and I would feel totally awkward if I had a date.

Life is so funny.

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