Chapter 6. Along came a baby

Babies are supposed to bring happiness to any home. That is a general fact. Except when you have a baby with the wrong person.

The truth is that a baby puts any couple to the test. The sleepless nights, the new responsibilities, the stay at home lifestyle and the added expenses that can be substantial when you take into account what babies spend on diapers, formula and baby’s clothes.

I wanted to breastfeed, I really did, but it was a lost battle when I had my first son and it was an even more arduous task when I had my second. I suppose that milk does not come easy to stressed out mothers and given the fact that crocodile and I were not in loveland anymore by the time I got pregnant, that crocodile’s company filed for bankruptcy and that my own business lost its bread and butter accounts, it is no surprise that I was not the most milk producing mother. But I did try. I tried the supplements, the Medela milk pumps, I was very optimistic when I got the maxi nipple pads at the pharmacy. I had contacted La Leche league, read the book “A gift for life” where they explain that we can all do it. This only made me feel worse because despite my willingness to breastfeed my offspring, I had to supplement and quit after the first month and a half.

This is an issue for many women I know, because as I spent sleepless nights with baby I would search on the internet for causes and solutions. That is what women do these days, we look on the internet for support, for remedies, for comfort and for reassurance that we are not alone.

I want to tell any woman reading this now “you are not alone”. You are one of the million women out there struggling to be good mothers, good wives, good companions, good professionals and good friends. Some say it was easier before, I doubt it.  It has never been easy for women in history and is not easy now. Nevertheless being a woman is fantastic, we are able to share and to communicate feelings. Sure it would be easier to feel less to communicate less like men do. Today a friend of mine told me to “be careful” about what I write. Why should I be careful? After moving out from my parents at 18 moving to another continent for love, opening my own business at 24, divorcing,  being a mother twice and adopting a crocodile I will not be remembered for being careful. And neither should you.



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