Love is something we do, not something we feel, when you get married you say “I do”, you do not say “I feel”, a priest once said at a wedding. It took me a while to understand those words but as I have gained more experience in life and have been able to differentiate lust, attraction, passion, etc. from the things that you do when you really love someone it is more clear to me that the act of loving is a conscious decision and not something that you do out of emotion or desire. I start thinking about all those moments when your children are sick and demand attention and you get up in the middle of the night worried about them and with a full heart, when you pass on things so that someone else can have them, all the things that you do when you really love. This power to decide makes us different from animals. Animals move by instinct, act by instinct and do not think about hurting anyone’s feelings. Needless to say that humans are rational beings but also animals and there is where things get messy in love, you might love someone and suddenly feel attracted to someone else, you might feel attracted to someone else and not love the person, you might be able to convince yourself that it is not worth it or you might go right for it and loose everything that you ever cared about.
I once asked Prince Charming the following question: “How do you know that you love me?” His answer was immediate and crystal clear ” I can’t imagine my life without you, I don’t want to imagine my life without you”. How could he anticipate to the pain that the present situation would imply? Those moments when you make coffee and you have leftovers because nobody drinks coffee with you? Those moments when you don’t open a bottle because you don’t have a special one to share it with? Or the many nights when you don’t cook because you find yourself alone? But the worst is when you look at the child that you have in common do something that he should witness and he is not there and you know that the moment is not coming back and that you are the sole responsible for the situation, not to mention when your son suddenly makes a gesture that you have seen a thousand times before and you sit there feeling totally stupid.
Love is to understand the other person’s faults and to still make the person necessary in your life. Love is a conscious act of altruism. Love is an act of forgiveness.
Love is to look at the broken screen of you iPhone and to know that it is worth fixing.