The day I announced to crocodile that I was moving back to the States he was in total disbelief. Crocodiles are not used to loosing control of their prey. In fact, crocodiles are not used to loosing control at all. Even if at first sight, a crocodile may appear still and absent, they are controlling your every move.
One good day, you pronounce those words and they no longer sound like an inoffensive threat to them, they know you have made up your mind, they know you mean them. The moment when they realize that they are no longer the ones in charge, the moment that they understand that playing manipulative mind games is not going to work any more for them, that day they make concessions.
Unlike other pets, crocodiles are very good at sensing when their prey stops being their prey and decides that they have had enough of feeling sad, being abused, ignored and undervalued. There is a certain invisible line that a woman crosses when they reach that point. It is the day they stop caring for crocodile and begin to stand up for themselves.
They start behaving differently, they stop calling, demanding, yelling, but the most important, they stop crying. This is how women in a crocodile-ruled relationship start to regain their strength and their independence to decide where they want their life to go.
Ironically, the rough aggressive crocodile that has made your life a joke suddenly becomes that adorable baby crocodile that you once took home. They start acting cute and charming, just as babies naturally do. They become more attentive, more attentive to your needs and desires, they listen to you when you talk about your work, they offer to do something that you like doing for which they’ve never shown the slightest interest, they even offer to sit down and talk to you about reaching an agreement. For the first time in years, they are willing to make a deal, to take you into account. Don’t buy it. Crocodiles don’t do that out of love, they do it out of fear to loose you and find themselves alone without a prey to drag around and make them feel better. They do it out of selfishness.
The problem, once again is that this type of technique works for most women. Our maternal instinct tells us to look after baby crocodile and to continue to care for him. Because that is what most women are, we are caretakers. We take care of situations, we take care of things, we take care of relatives, we take care of bosses, we take care of friends, we take care of men (fathers, brothers, partners, sons, sons in law) but we can’t forget to take care of the most important: ourselves.
So bye bye crocodile, see you later alligator! You had the time of your life, now go back to you pond and if you ever dare to go back into the pet shop, I will make sure they don’t allow you in.
You are no pet.