Chapter 37. In a while crocodile!

Living with a cold blooded animal is very stressful. That is why if I had to think about one word that described the time that I spent with crocodile I would say: restless. My therapist had said to me “Girl, you are living in a state of permanent alert. You must be exhausted”. She was right on. I was so exhausted that for the very first time in my life I did not have to diet to look skinny. I would not have to fight sleepiness while watching a movie late at night. I simply wouldn’t fall asleep. And that is how I knew about insomnia, which by the way, I do not recommend.

Crocodile on the other hand would take frequent naps by the pond. Watching him sleep so peacefully at all times would only make my insomnia increase. I was so frustrated. But you know, crocodiles spend most of the time sleeping, looking so still that you just want to kick them to see if they are still alive. And you know that they are, what is more, you know that they are good pretenders and that they are only half asleep, while their other half is watching you now and then with that intimidating yellow glance…

So very soon after moving to crocodile’s pond I understood that a pond is not a place for a lady to remain. Simply because you can’t invite your friends to dinner there, or have a normal life, or feel comfy enough to take a nap on the couch. No. You risk however being taken on a tour under water by playful crocodile who would, from time to time, find appropriate to scare you to death just to remind you about your prey status, just so you know that the pond is his element, and not yours.

So when a lady is in that position, given women’s adaptive nature, there is no option but to learn to survive while figuring out a good exit strategy which might involve having to learn how to breath under water. You start taking quick dives under water when crocodile is not watching and put your lungs to test time and time again, then you breath deeply. You rest for a while, then pretend nothing happened, then when the opportunity presents itself, you try again. Soon, your pulmonary capacity will increase and you will become almost amphibious. Why? Because you are a woman. Why? Because you are a fighter, a surviver and you know that your best  place to be is other than where you are. So you look for a good chance to scape and discover that that moment is the moment when crocodile pushes you under the water and relaxes his jaws, confident that you will stay put until he brings you back to the surface. Then you sleep away and laugh to yourself while thinking:

See you later alligator! In a while crocodile!

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