Nausea. Jealousy. Distress.
Those feelings came thorugh my veins as I unveiled the truth: my ex looked happy in the arms of another woman. And what is worse, another woman was bragging about my ex and was calling my ex husband “her baby”.
Let me start by saying that this was not meant to happen.
For years, you may know your ex new girlfriend’s first name and be ok with it. As long as her last name is not your former last name everything is good. But one day you find out what her last name really is, by chance, it appears on a random update that you run into as you are about to put your phone on airplane mode and call it a day. One minute later, you are googling this woman like a maniac and finding things that you wish you had not ever found about her (i.e: she seems like a nice person, she has style, she likes a lot of the same things that you like, she is thinner and more athletic than you, gramma loves her…I mean, all painful stuff).
That is the risk that we take these days as we link accounts, sync devices and upload personal information on social networks that we believe to be private. Surprise! They are not, your boyfriends´ex wife will find it.
I am the ex.
I became obsessed looking and searching for pictures and information about her, comparing myself to her and feeling absolutely disgusted to see her posing on the same spot during her trip to San Fran. I spent literally over two hours clicking on links and looking at pictures of the two of them in complete disbelief. Despite having had a messy ending, my marriage and my relationship with Prince Charming was very strong. We had spent many years growing together.
For many years I was convinced that my ex was still madly in love with me. I thought that it would take him a long time to find someone that could even come close to replacing me. That is why, when I found out that they had met only a few days after he and I had split up I was in shock.
A few years have gone by already, I have been married to another man (crocodile) and I have had a baby with him. Five years is a longtime, naturally people evolve but that much? And that quickly?
Our life partners are mirrors of who we are or who we were and therefore so are the new partners that they choose to spend their life with after us.
I can see a lot of similarities between this woman and I. I can also see my ex’s expression in the pictures that she posts of the two of them together and let me tell you, I have my doubts. That is the problem when you look at the man whose soul you unveiled for many years, you know when they are faking it.
But as you grow older many people understand that faking is part of the deal to get what we want, right?