Chapter 49. Staying together for the kids

Is what many adult couples do when they discover that they no longer feel anything for each other, to put it nicely.

Something that would seem unthinkable in your twenties becomes a reasonable option in your mid thirties when you find yourself out of love, with a huge house that is proportionate to your mortgage, and a good school that your kids are attending after applying for two years to get admitted and to which they are fully adjusted.

Pragmatically speaking, staying under the same roof and sharing expenses is a good option, provided that you are ok seeing your ex totally naked in the nursing room when he casually asks you to warm up some milk and bring the baby bottle to the nursing room upstairs. I could not stand that kind of stuff or to feel like I was cheating if somebody asked me out on a date. So I moved out to Santa Barbara and took my kids with me.

Breaking that perfect setting for my kids was perhaps the toughest part of my second divorce. Not so much the emotional strings to my ex, those were long gone but rather, telling my 7 year old that it was time to move….again, man that was hard.

Now that they are older and spending a few months with their respective fathers, things seem a lot easier. I have the chance to move to London for a few months to complete a Phd. I can have a crush again and most importantly I don’t have to see my ex naked around the house.

I often wonder about my married friends who went with the staying together for the kids option and wonder how they are doing…


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