Chapter 51. Men want to be the crocodile

Catering to a woman’s needs and falling for a woman leads to having in laws, screaming children, reduced budgets and less time to play in the pond with other male crocodiles. As a result, men admire the crocodile and want his lifestyle.

Those who find themselves already in the rat race, meaning, those who are already married with children and with a used up relationship that only leads to sexual encounters once a week (if they are lucky) but don’t have the guts or the financial means to go “solo”, find hobbies or excuses to get a taste of the crocodile’s lifestyle when in fact, they would want to be like him. They would prefer to be him and say “screw this, tell me how much you want for child support, I’m outta here” and leave running straight back to their pond.

Why? Because being the crocodile rules. He gets to decide when and where to play paddle with his friends, he goes out during the week, plays soccer, plays cards, he owes no explanations to no one and he has cash to spend on whatever he wants, sports equipment, new expensive clothes…it is his money so why would he need to feel bad about spending more on himself, right? He is in his forties and has this urgent need to feel young while he can and burn life. As long as he is diligent with child support no woman will ever nag at him about something he does. Ever.

My friend thinks is ok to be unfaithful as long as he doesn’t get caught. “I like being married, in fact, I need to be married, it gives me stability. I love my wife and children, but I won’t stop doing what I do” Crocodile.

He is not the only man that admires other crocodiles that are more alpha than him, like that single American guy that landed recently in Ibiza with a plane full of models to pack his boat party and demonstrate his ubber crocodile lifestyle.

“That guy really knows how to do it” My friend says. And you know what? Most men secretly agree.

“Women are inferior to men, the only difference is that I have the guts and the means to say it out loud and to live by it” crocodile would say.

Familywise many crocodiles are well off too because as a result of being more or less married to a woman, they gain small children to call their own. Crocodile moms will always make sure to do all the “dirty work” the weekend that their son keeps the children so that babyboy does not have to get up early or cook the kids’lunch or make the kids’ beds or do the kids laundry or all those “women’s duties”. Being the mamas boy that he is, he still gets his socks and underwear from mom because his head would probably explode if he had to figure out his own size…Like the one time he bought me expensive lingerie and when I opened the box I found an older ladies kind of ensemble and a bra that was for my giant sister. Wishful thinking I suppose…

Mom will also be available to mind the kids on Friday and Saturday night so her baby can go out and have fun as a man should. In short, she will make sure to diminish the work that you, as a mother, do all the other days of the month and therefore, ensure that crocodile does not value it.

Great job ladies, great job.

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