So you are now alone with your kids in a small place and a reduced income while your ex is out having fun and spending money? Don’t worry, you are not alone.
Crocodile used to call the kids on a Friday night from New Orleans with music in the background and claim that he was there for work. It is simply what men do when they go through a break-up. They put themselves first.
Let’s talk about the wonderful and miraculous process that most men go through when you leave them or when they leave you after many years of marriage. First, they call their friends, then, they run back to their mothers and last but not least, they go party and spend money.
All the money that they did not spend taking you out to dinner or buying you something nice, they will now spend on buying drinks and presents to complete strangers with the sole purpose of enjoying themselves. All those trips that they did not take with you they will now take with their friends to prove that their brotherhood is more important and that they are better off now that you are gone.
They will loose weight, change their hair, go shopping for new clothes, stop doing all the things that bothered you so much and start doing the ones you always wanted. To top it all, they will look better than ever and start treating you with despise, like you don’t matter, like they don’t care about you, like they don’t know you anymore and like they don’t have to acknowledge all the things the many things that you compromised in your life to bring happiness to theirs and the whole family.
Now they have to pay you. And it does not matter if their disposable income has increased since you and the kids are gone, and it does not matter if you have now found yourself in a much worse situation, doing all of the work, incapable of earning as much as he does because when the clock strikes 7 you are up making breakfast and packing snacks and when the clock strikes 4 pm you are at some playground or grocery shop. Now you have to take the kids to soccer practice, games, birthday parties and music lessons. It does not matter. Now, in their mind, they have to pay you. They are told by the judges that the money is not for you but for the kids, they are told that it is the law, they are told all those things yes. But they still hate the fact that they have to pay you.
Some, being able to pay, will pay child support, and complain about it in any chance they get. Because they pay, they will expect you to have less rights than them when it comes to your schedule or your plans.
Others, too many of them will not pay out of disdain or because they have heard that you are with someone new and is their form of revenge.
Most men’s lives will go on easily after the divorce, the increased fun and free time will make them forget all about you, the kids crying at the dinner table and waking up in the middle of the night or early on a Saturday morning is a thing of the past for them now. The return to a bachelor life will make them feel happier and free.
The woman on the other hand will be alone with all the work and society will see that normal. She is the mother. If the father assumes that responsibility he is some kind of super hero.
And that is how the story goes for many women and why many prefer to put up with a selfish asshole that they no longer love.