Chapter 82. Does your “crazy” ex make you crazy?

If the answer is yes you are not over your ex.

Surprise!!!!

If your interaction with your ex looks something like “The War of the Rose” to everyone around you, if things are about to explode in the air when you two are in the same room, if emails are frequent and keep going back and forward all morning or all night up to 15-18 emails in one single conversation, if you know that your ex is the only person that replies to your emails faster than your mother, if he or she always calls asking for help, offering you help when you ask nicely or justifying what he or she does with the person they are dating, if you don’t immediately hung up when he rings, if you spend a lot of time on the phone just agreeing to disagree, if when you two are together the tension escalates to the ceiling to the point where everyone has to hold on to their chairs because it feels like an imminent earthquake is coming, overreactions on both ends are frequent and you two just feel this urge to do something really stupid, you simply can’t be cordial and act normal…..because you are normal right? Your ex is the crazy one.

If this scenario rings the bell I will break the news:

“you are definitely still in ex recovery zone” Not in love, not out of love. You are in that fine line that distinguishes one from the other.

Indifference is the opposite of love. Hate and anger isn’t. We have heard this a thousand times and it is true. I could say that until you truly feel indifference for someone, I mean, when his or her presence doesn’t affect you emotionally whatsoever, I mean, you see this person show up and you don’t care, you don’t mind, you don’t get any strong feelings, that is you can be functional and by functional I mean: you are able to maintain the conversation that you were previously holding, you can find the house keys without any problems, or put ketchup in your burger without confusing the ketchup with the mustard etc. If these basic acts get obstructed by your ex’s presence you are not free.

You still belong to that person, yes belong, because in a way that person that formerly ruled your heart and your life still controls your mind and your reactions.

Exes are a great example of that. Does your “crazy” ex make you crazy?

If he is a man, does he totally check you out when you turn around? He is definitely not over you! Are you unable to cause real damage to that persons’s life (work, new relationships, etc) because in some strange way you feel responsible for that person and wish for their happiness? If the answer is yes there you have it.

How crazy it is that you are unable to hurt someone that you supposedly hate? Even if you happen to be the master of a nuclear weapon that could cause serious damage to your ex and for all your inconveniences to disappear for good? You choose not to do it.

“Very crazy indeed”

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