Chapter 87. Friends with my Ex

I asked my ex if he wanted to be friends. He said no. I asked him to reconsider, given the fact that we have shared so much. He said no.

No?

Hearing this “no”loud and clear was one of the hardest things I ever had to hear. That rejection, from the person that you once loved and considered a bit yours leaves you feeling as appeased as a Red Bull drink. Since I’ve heard, it I have become a little bit borderline psycho. I continue to insist and to convince my ex that this is the reasonable option. I simply refuse to be rejected or to admit that this person is out of my life for good, what do I do now? who do I talk to? who do I wait for?

I never meant for things to get this far. How can something lead to another and quickly become undoable. Now, I am a prisoner of my own words. I revisit them, I want to delete them, but they are said.

For the first time ever, I feel insecure about this love, not silly insecure as I was before when I was testing my limits, no, this time things are really messed up. My move might have back fired on me and it drives me crazy to think I have brought up this on myself.

Why do women do this kind of thing? Why do we like to play with fire when we feel that we are in control? When we have a guy head over hills for us? We forget this one detail;

Men are a box of surprises, they love you until they stop doing it, until that one day, when they forget about it, decide is not worth it, and move on.

Why do I want a friendship with him now? Just to prove to myself that I can seduce him back? Just so I can make sure that I am still around? Because let’s be honest, lovers can’t be friends, they simply can’t for a long while until both stop caring.

And that does not happen overnight.

You need the feeling to die, the memories to become really really distant from the present moment and the heart to shut down. This, statistically takes one third of the time your were together.

Sometimes more.

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